Eating Around the Table

I grew up where we ate meals at the table. Not always, but often and most usually. Sure, we would have the tv on in the background sometimes, and the phone would ring and it would get answered. No, it was not always full of meaningful conversation or void of complaining - but we were together, around the table. Many memories formed. Lots of laughter shared. And always good food :)

Then I became a mother. While living in Mexico. A place where the table has great significance to a family. It is the center of a home. It is where life is shared and experienced. Together.

Now if I was being honest, I would have to say that eating around the table at our current stage of life is almost always far from a peaceful and bonding family experience. In fact, my husband sometimes just looks at me with this pleading look of..."really? can't I just sit in the living room???"

If I had thought of it earlier, I should have taken the time to set up a video camera to record our current "family togetherness around the table". But wait. That would simply delay even further any chance for me to sneak in a bite while we are all "together" so...forget that.

Just imagine an ever going onslaught of "stay in your chair", "please don't bang your fork into my table top", "use your napkin", "stop screaming", "this is not the place to talk bathroom talk", "use your manners", "eat three more bites because you are three", oh and again, "stay in your chair", "ask to be excused" and....and...and...yes, you get the picture! This all amidst one child finishing his first serving and asking for more before the second one's meat is even cut, and the third one proclaiming he asked for the blue cup not the yellow one and the fourth one standing in his high chair because he once again, figured out how to outsmart the belt.

Before I sound too down and out on my kids - I think the 3 older ones are coming along in this department right on track with their developmental ages, and yet, without mentioning any names, there is another one who can't talk yet but still likes to be heard (if you know what I mean!) - which, actually is right on track developmentally too - so the long and the short of it is that no one is to blame except the reality that four boys under the age of seven around a table can, and almost always does, make for a lively event.

But I keep being drawn back to the fact that this craziness is happening anyway, so why not have it be happening around the table! Together.

The habits and norms that we are forming in our family structure right now matter. What we emphasize now will determine what things will look like later (hopefully with a few less spills and a few more conversations)

I want the table to be an important place for our family - a place to share life - and laugh - and eat together - and learn about each others' day. I would like to hope that it might become a special part of my boys' childhood...

But that dream is not always so easy to believe in during the ins and outs of everyday life. Sometimes, in this day and age of busy schedules and drive through menus, let alone enforcing manners and screaming little ones, it can be hard to stick to. It can be frustrating. And discouraging.

But...

I was so pleasantly surprised to come across this book in the library that confirmed that what I was raised with and what I experienced in another culture and what I am trying to do right now has value!



This book reassured me of what I already knew. It was based in research so that simply broadened the validation of my personal experience. I didn't read it cover to cover, but I did show it to Benjy so that he too could see that there is value in my insane requests to sit at the table together.

The hope: my family will be smarter, stronger, healthier, and happier because of this old-fashioned tradition....making the big picture very much worth the training it calls me to be doing today.

So, stay in your seat boys until its finished. This Mommy is sticking to her guns!