Choosing Paths

I have not written very much about this area of our life...and I am not sure why. It isn't a little thing. We happen to be facing some major changes in our life journey and as the days unfold, and the paths present themselves, we will be called to make a decision. We will be choosing a road that we, as a family, or even as a couple, have not chosen before.

For a little background: Benjy and I met in 1996 at a missions program. From the first moments of our friendship, and then dating relationship - "missions" was "the plan". He had served 2 1/2 years as a missionary apprentice in Mexico city and I was on my way to Kosice, Slovakia to do the same. Benjy was at the very early stages of mission team formation to return to Mexico. As we grew more serious in our relationship, I eventually married him and on to that mission team. The early years of our marriage involved preparation and planning for Mexico and then, going and spending 7 years on the field.

It is hard to believe that that brings us up to last June where we said our difficult good-byes to so many special Mexican friends and moved our little family of Mexican born and raised boys to Kentucky.

These past 10 months have been an important time for us as a family. Thanks to our sponsoring congregation here in Louisville, we have been given the opportunity to take an objective step outside of our missional life, to evaluate, rest, consider, and seek next steps. What a blessing! And what a task! I will say, it is not an easy thing - to lay it all out on the table and really truly consider what comes next. We have needed wisdom, patience, emotional maturity, and trust.

It actually has been, although a little scary, also fun. The details of our future are unknown, but in that very thing lies adventure and anticipation and excitement. There also lies some sentimentality for the path we are stepping off of. We have made a decision to make a career shift away from missions and that involves loss. The realities of that rise up - sometimes gently and sometimes strongly, and at unexpected times. All the attempts to protect from the finality of it are not working. That phase of our life was so special and will always be. Being a missionary as a full time career may become our title again in the future, but meanwhile, we continually feel gratitude for our past, for our experience in Mexico and our relationships with those we love in DF. I am thankful for God's love, care, and guidance through all of this.

Our kids have a lot to teach us about life. I am trying to learn a lesson from my youngest son. Hudson is 17 months old - and is now confident in his walking. He has so much fun just walking. And stepping up and down a little step. And up and down again. And again. He still falls often. And he usually has no idea where he wants to go, he heads one way and then suddenly turns around and goes the other. He isn't concerned about choosing a path, he just takes his little steps and when he falls down he smiles and gets back up again and continues. He doesn't over analyze it. It is much simpler than that: he loves to walk and is fully enjoying this new stage of his life.

A lot of life lesson packed into that paragraph for me. As these days unfold and various paths present themselves to us, I pray for wisdom and discernment and timing and provisions. But I also hope I can simply enjoy this stage and keep taking little steps in the journey. Just like Hudson.